To that end, you have to do a fair amount of due diligence before sleeping with a stranger – looking them up online, talking to mutual acquaintances, slowing things down until you feel confident that sleeping together won’t be a mistake – or you have to accept the reality that it might blow up in your face at any moment. Your call!
Casual Sex With an Ex
If choosing between casual sex with a friend or a stranger seems like a “chocolate or vanilla” proposition where either could end well or badly with about equal likeliness, casual sex with an ex does not quite live up to that standard. It’s a situation where in the overwhelming majority of cases, it won’t end well.
The excitement of someone you thought you’d never have sex with again consenting to one more (or several more) hookups can certainly be overwhelming. Whether you were the dumpee or the dumper, engaging post-breakup sex can also seem incredibly tantalizing – it’s a bad idea, but you’re both doing it anyway, choosing your sex drives over your emotional wellbeing.
But if you do go through with this, it’s hard to deny that it’s a recipe for things ending on an even worse note than they had before … and for your friends to get an opportunity to deliver you a big, fat “I told you so.”
One-Time Only vs. Repeated Hookups
In the case of any kind of casual sex, your hookup could be a one-time thing or part of a lengthier affair.
Of course, it’s easier to keep things casual if you don’t see each other ever again, but in someone’s absence, it can be easy to wonder, “What if…?” whereas you’ll have a better sense of what you’re getting (and/or missing) if you’re hooking up every other week. (more…)